


the thing is

by adequater



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Coming of Age, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9389549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adequater/pseuds/adequater
Summary: the thing is, minhyung has always been there, and jaemin can't remember the life he has before minhyung comes along. it is as if life before minhyung was so insignificant that he remembers little to none of it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'm tired of life, everyone. i'm so tired. i just wanna get through the hurdle that is o level with flying colours. this right here, writing, this account, is my safe haven. 
> 
> i miss jaemin. i miss jaemin.
> 
> disclaimer: 
> 
> 1) i know little to none about the education in korea, volleyball, and university. so, for any inaccuracies, please feel free to correct me, and i apologise for it in advance! my volleyball knowledge also consists of haikyuu!! so if it is a bit dramatised, blame haikyuu!! not me. jk.
> 
> 2) it says implied sex in the tags which means that the sexual contents are not described here and they ARE legal in this story when they did it. no graphics. no worries.
> 
> 3) this is honestly my first time writing in jaemin's pov. and using mark's real name. so it's prolly a bit off? i don't know ahaha
> 
> 4) their age here are international age and NOT their korean age. bc i still don't quite understand how that works despite all these time.
> 
> warning: horribly unbeta'ed since i just sped-write everything. but still, enjoy reading

The thing is, Jaemin doesn’t remember the life he has before Minhyung comes along.

 

Wait, that sounds a little bit dramatic.

 

It’s more like every memory he has of his childhood somehow has the baby-faced Minhyung in it, along with his ridiculously adorable fringe that Jaemin laughs at every time Minhyung’s mum opens up Minhyung’s baby albums. Running around their kindergarten’s playground with Minhyung, taking a detour to the convenience store to buy ice cream together (Minhyung’s treat, always Minhyung’s treat), going to the zoo with each other’s families, to the park, sleepovers, everywhere. Speaking of those albums, most of the pictures inside are even filled mostly with Minhyung and Jaemin side by side. So Jaemin is not being delusional here to say that they’ve spent almost all their lives together. It is as if the moment Jaemin was born, Minhyung was already there, waiting for him, being the older one between the two, always the one waiting for Jaemin, guiding him. Even until now.

 

But the truth is, Jaemin has known Minhyung only since he was three, and Minhyung was four. Jaemin wouldn’t even have known if not for his mum telling him the tale of that one particular scorching summer day that consists of a moving truck, a wide-eyed Minhyung, Minhyung’s adolescent brother, and his set of parents. Will probably believe that Minhyung has always been _there,_ since he was born, if not for his mother. Just because, he’s always been there. It as if life before Minhyung was so insignificant that Jaemin remembers zero to none of it.

 

-

 

The thing is, they’ve always been close. It’d be ridiculous for them to even deny that fact. Not with how they’re always side by side ever since that one fateful summer, always gravitating towards each other, and when the other is not by the other’s side, it’s like one person is on the other side of the dance floor, and the other is on the other side, and they would meet in the middle. It’s like a dance that they both know by heart, without even having to practice it. A silent yet loud agreement between both of them. They know. They both know. But it’s sort of weird when other people point it out.

 

“You and Mark are really close, huh?” asks Renjun, a classmate of his, one afternoon on their break, Minhyung not by his side after he excuses himself to go to the bathroom.

 

Jaemin almost tilts his head is confusion because _who the hell is Mark_ before he gets himself striaght. Right, he always forgets just who Mark is because he has been calling Minhyung, Minhyung since forever, and Minhyung insists on introducing himself as Mark when they enter middle school, politely turning down people’s request of calling him Minhyung when they hear Jaemin say it. It’s ridiculous, Jaemin thinks fondly sometimes. Because Minhyung’s real name isn’t even Mark, just an English name. It’s ridiculous how mature Minhyung thinks he is.

 

“I guess?” Are they? Does Minhyung even agree that Jaemin considers them as best friends? Jaemin sure as hell does, he even flaunts the title, sometimes. _Oh, I have a best friend called Minhyung!_ What if this is all a one-sided thing? Does Minhyung even consider them as friends?

 

His classmate scrunches his nose in confusion, “You guess? So, you aren’t? You even call him by his real name. He doesn’t allow anyone to call him that apart from you? He even calls you Nana? Isn’t that like the most ridiculous nickname?”

 

Huh. Interesting. Nana is a ridiculous nickname. Because it’s a girl’s name and that name has just sort of been stuck with his parents and relatives ever since he was born, and Minhyung insists on calling him that on certain days. Minhyung comes back from the bathroom before Jaemin has a chance to reply, and the conversation is long forgotten, being put in Jaemin’s ‘ask Minhyung later’ part of brain until that evening when Minhyung and him walk to their home side by side, taking a detour to the convenience store, as always. The convenience store comes into view when Jaemin flicks his fingers in realisation, making Minhyung and his story of that evening’s volleyball practice stop in tracks, Minhyung looks at Jaemin in confusion. They’re almost at the convenience store, why stop?

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jaemin replies hurriedly, his voice muffled from the scarf his mother insists him to bring from home despite his argument that the weather man said that today would be a bearable kind of cold day. Mums are just psychics at this point, because it’s cold. Really cold. “just wanna make sure, we’re friends, right?”

 

“What?” Minhyung sputters, confusion doubling because honestly _what._

 

“Just answer, Minhyung! We’re like friends, right? You consider me as a friend right?” Jaemin whines, suddenly wishing that his brain didn’t suddenly conjure up that question in the middle of the road, preferably in the heated convenience store instead.

 

“Of course we are, Nana. Aren’t we best friends? You’re almost like my brother than my brother ever is at this point. What are you saying?” Minhyung asks, growing concerned by each questions, but all thoughts fly out of Jaemin’s head because _ah, there it is_.

 

“We’re best friends?” Jaemin questions, his voice soft, the doubt evident in his voice. Brothers? Does Jaemin even consider him as a brother? The term best friends fit better in their current situation. Minhyung’s face morphs from one of confusion to embarrassment in one second that Jaemin has to blink twice to take it all in.

 

“I mean, unless you want to consider me as your best friend. I’ve always considered you as mine. I mean, your choice. I don’t know,” Minhyung fumbles with his answer, rambling almost, fiddling with the loose hem of his tie, the nervous habit he has whenever he thinks he’s wrong.

 

“Oh,” Jaemin says. It’s silent and Minhyung makes the move of going straight through the door of the convenience store, his neck and tip of his ears rosy, from the cold or embarrassment, Jaemin doesn’t know, but Jaemin follows behind. Minhyung is just about to yank open the door when Jaemin grabs his arm, stopping him, and Minhyung turns to look at him agitatedly.

 

“What, Na Jaemin?” Minhyung asks angrily, his hands still on the handle of the convenience store’s door.

 

“You are my best friend, too, okay? Don’t be stupid and get angry over nothing,” Jaemin counters, shooting him a cheeky smile as he enters the store first, going straight to the chips section. “Don’t forget our movie night!”

 

“As if I will forget. We have been doing this since forever.”

 

Right. Forever. Jaemin can see from the corner of his eyes that Minhyung’s face has returned to its’ original colour, his shoulders stop slumping, and there’s a small smile on his face. It’s too easy to please Minhyung sometimes, really.

 

-

 

The thing is, Minhyung really doesn’t have to decline just to please Jaemin. He really doesn’t have to. It’s just a stupid letter, full of the things the girl listed out about her favourite things about Minhyung which Jaemin bets he can lists out twice as long as that entire list, and maybe even thrice, or more. Full of stupid heart and love-struck stickers and drawings. It’s cute. It should be. But Jaemin can only feel hatred and see red when he looks at that letter. Especially the first time he sees the letter.

 

They’re fifteen now (Minhyung sixteen), 9th grade and almost twelve years of knowing each other at this point. Jaemin should be mature about things. But he’s clearly not. He doesn’t even know why he is being so jealous and immature about things. Is he jealous of Minhyung for getting a love letter first? Is he surprised? He shouldn’t be. He knows how popular Minhyung is around the school, for his sports and musical achievements. It’s stupid. It’s really stupid.

 

Jaemin and Minhyung enter the classroom to find at least five people crowding over Minhyung’s table. This usually doesn’t come as a surprise as every morning, students sometimes like to look at each other’s homework and compare their answers, and some, _copy each other’s homework_. So, every morning Jaemin and Minhyung’s attached tables are sacrifices of these students. But the difference is, there are no papers and books sprawled all over the table, but instead, an A5 card lays on their table. Jaemin and Minhyung share a look of confusion.

 

“What’s that?” Minhyung asks as they approach the table side by side, averting the attention of the people sitting around the table from the card to them, all of them with creepy, suggesting smirks on their faces.

 

“You got a letter, hyung!” one student exclaims.

 

“A confession letter!” another one says.

 

“Our mat-hyung is so popular now!”

 

“Our mat-hyung will even leave Jaemin at this point!”  


_What?_ Did Jaemin hear that right? Minhyung leaving Jaemin just from a measly confession from someone who doesn’t know Minhyung as well as Jaemin does? Will Minhyung leave Jaemin for someone like that? Jaemin whips his head to Minhyung in alarm, to find him already looking at him, a reassuring smile on his face before Minhyung returns his attention to the people in the table, quickly ushering them away so that Jaemin and him can sit. Minhyung snatches the card on his table hastily. Jaemin can only follow every movement of the card. He sees red.

 

“Lee Minhyung, I really like you. Meet me at the school court if you’re curious about me. XOXO, your admirer,” Minhyung reads monotonously to Jaemin, glancing at him after with his teasing eyes and Jaemin looks away as Minhyung tries to catch his eyes, Minhyung obviously finding the whole thing funny. It’s not. This person calls Minhyung by his real name when the person doesn’t even know Minhyung the way Jaemin does.

 

“Na, come on. It’s just a measly confession,” Minhyung comforts, nudging Jaemin’s arm which is rested on the table. Why is he even comforting Jaemin? Jaemin has no right to even get angry at Minhyung because it’s ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous that he doesn’t know why he’s angry. Why does Minhyung feel guilty? Is he planning to leave Jaemin for some chick who thinks she can call Minhyung by his real name?

 

“Look, I’ll just go to the school court and see who she is. It’ll be alright,” Minhyung tries to comfort again, and Jaemin resolves crumble little by little until he turns to look at Minhyung again. His eyes wide and hopeful, asking for Jaemin’s forgiveness silently, like he did something wrong when he didn’t. It’s stupid how soft Minhyung can be for Jaemin.

 

Minhyung goes to the school court that break. He even offers Jaemin to come with him as a sidekick only for Jaemin to threaten to kick his ass because _that’s just so awkward why would he even suggest that._ The whole recess Jaemin sits relentlessly on his table, trying to stop his nerves, and when sitting around didn’t work, he goes to his cute juniors two grades lower than him called Jisung and Chenle and help them with their homework and return to class five minutes before the next lessons start.

 

Minhyung is already there on their shared seat. Probably has been there for about ten minutes because Minhyung promised that he would only take fifteen minutes, and Minhyung always keeps his promises. Minhyung looks up immediately from his books to Jaemin who just enters the class. Jaemin can see the hint of pink on his cheeks, and the giddy way he signs and smiles at Jaemin to be quick. It’s ridiculous. It seems like Minhyung knows Jaemin so well that he even recognises his footsteps. Does the girl even know how unattractive Minhyung is when he sleeps? His footsteps? His bad habits? She doesn’t. Only Jaemin does.

 

“How was it?” Jaemin asks as he sits down, facing Minhyung in a faux interested manner. He is interested, just not a good kind of interest. Minhyung pulls him closer, dragging Jaemin’s ear closer to his lips so that Jaemin can hear clearly without Minhyung saying it out loud and getting scared of the whole class hearing

 

“It’s Hina! Class 4!” Mark whispers excitedly, his breath of excitement hitting Jaemin’s ear, tickling it a little, but Jaemin stays rooted, a strained smile on his face. Hina. Right. Isn’t she captain of the girls’ volleyball club? That’s quite amazing. They would make a good pair. Both of them have the same interests and they both can talk about volleyball. Jaemin can barely hold a conversation with Minhyung about volleyball because he keeps getting confused about the positions and rotations. He only knows Minhyung’s position as a setter just from the amount of posters of it he has in his room. Right, they’d make a good pair. Minhyung will probably abandon him soon.

 

“We have a date this Friday after school,” Minhyung whispers excitedly again, and he starts rambling about what he is going to do in the date and how excited he is. Right. Minhyung. Hina. Minhyung and Hina. Together. Great.

 

(The date goes well. Of course it does, it’s Minhyung; everyone likes him. But Minhyung tells Jaemin at Jaemin’s house after he drops off Hina at her house that they will probably still see each other, but as friends. Jaemin asks why, his chest feeling strangely light, and Minhyung only shrugs. It’s ridiculous.)

 

-

 

The thing is, Jaemin is not jealous. Donghyuck just has that aura that Jaemin hates or envies. Jaemin doesn’t know. The point is, Jaemin is not jealous. Full stop.

 

Except he sort of is.

 

He meets Donghyuck on one of Minhyung’s practice match with a rival school. Jaemin is just on the bleachers, closely studying Minhyung. They’re in high school now. Both of them applied to a school that requires them to wake up at ass o’clock in the morning just to catch a train then, a bus, and then a little walk from the bus stop to the school. It’s sort of tiring sometimes, but it’s a good school. So, it’s okay. Minhyung is with him. It’s more than okay.

 

Jaemin takes out his phone as the game comes to an end with each school having two sets in their hands. He scrolls through the texts he got since the game started, replying to some, and scrolls through his Instagram next when he sees that Minhyung isn’t going to be here anytime soon. Minhyung comes bounding out of the locker room with a person by his side, walking towards Jaemin, making small talks, or specifically the guy next to Minhyung making jokes and making Minhyung laugh. Rare. Jaemin thinks this person must be in the rival team since Jaemin doesn’t recognise him as Minhyung’s teammate.

 

“Nana-ya!” Minhyung exclaims at him as he spots Jaemin. Jaemin’s ears burn as he spots the guy next to Minhyung giving him a snide smile. He’s probably thinking about how that name is a girl’s name and how he shouldn’t even be called that. Jaemin curses Minhyung silently inside his head, and his choice of making today of all days to call him Nana.

 

“Nana-ya!” he repeats as he approaches Jaemin. The guy is now snickering, not even trying to hide it, and Jaemin’s pretty sure his ears are pretty red right now. “This is Lee Donghyuck! That annoying guy I told you about in the other team! He’s a middle blocker!”

 

Middle blocker. Annoying guy. Lee Donghyuck. Annoying Guy who will die in Jaemin’s hands if he keeps laughing at Jaemin’s nickname.

 

“Hi, you must be the Nana he usually talks about,” Donghyuck says, looking at Jaemin with a beady smile on his face. Jaemin hates him.

 

“More like Na Jaemin. Minhyung’s best friend,” Jaemin replies, a fake smile on his face that Minhyung immediately detects, which earns him a reprimanding stare from Minhyung. Jaemin looks away. Tsk. Minhyung can’t spot snakes when they are right under his nose.

 

“Best friend, huh? That’s interesting. I’m pretty sure Minhyung says that we’re pretty close to. Does he talk a lot to you about me?” Donghyuck shoots back, fanning his eyelashes quickly in a way Jaemin can only describe as fake. Violation number one, calling Minhyung _Minhyung._ Second violation, considering Minhyung as his best friend. That’s it. This is his first time meeting this person face to face and he already wants to punch him on the face. Minhyung looks back to back between the two, confusion evident in his face.

 

“Well, you’re both close to me,” Minhyung laments weakly. Betrayer. Traitor. Bitch ass. All bad things in life. Fuck you, Mark whatever your name is.

 

“We have to get going now!” Jaemin blurts out, taking Minhyung’s arm, dragging him to the exit. Minhyung can only wave helplessly at Donghyuck as Jaemin continues to drag him. They do have to go. Both of their families are having dinner at Jaemin’s house tonight and they shouldn’t be late. Except it’s only twelve past six and their dinner is at seven-thirty. Right, whatever. They’re late, okay?

 

“Are you okay?” Minhyung asks worriedly. Jaemin has let go of Minhyung’s arm now, deeming him as not worthy enough of being held by Jaemin. Mark Lee can suck a fucking dick.

 

“Yes, I am!” Jaemin says angrily, walking even faster to the bus stop. Not caring whether Minhyung is keeping up with him or not. Red, red, red. Close friend, close friend, close friend.

 

“You don’t sound okay, Na,” Minhyung says weakly, but the grip that is suddenly on Jaemin’s wrist is strong, and it forces Jaemin to stop in tracks. Of course he would pull out the nickname card.

 

“I am,” Jaemin spits out, looking at Minhyung in the eyes stubbornly. Minhyung can probably see the depths of it, and sees a hint of sadness in it.

 

“Are you mad at me for introducing Donghyuck to you? I mean I know Donghyuck is quite a handful sometimes. But he’s sort of nice, Na! Come on, give him a chance,” Minhyung continues, looking Jaemin apologetically again with his wide and tinkling eyes and Jaemin is weak. So weak. But one more chance? One more chance until what? Until he feels like punching Donghyuck for being Minhyung’s best friend?

 

“Whatever,” Jaemin yanks his wrist roughly from Minhyung’s iron grip, walking even fasted to the bus stop, “go with your best friend or something! Go do whatever you want!”

 

It is as if realisation drops in front of Minhyung and Minhyung’s long limbs relaxingly catch up with Jaemin, catching up with Jaemin in no time because he fucking plays a sport and fit as hell while Jaemin is honestly just a twig that just got lucky for being skinny without exercising.

 

“Oh, Na Jaemin!” Minhyung exclaims delightedly, and Jaemin can’t resist the urge to glare at Minhyung. Oh, so now he wants to use his real name instead of introducing him nicely in front of his competitor. It’s so embarrassing. Jaemin just wants to look good and composed in front of Donghyuck as Minhyung’s best friend and Minhyung goes around playing him like this.

 

“I can’t believe you’re jealous!” Minhyung laughs, his limbs flailing everywhere as he walks, and Jaemin sort of wants to punch him on the face.

 

“No, I’m not,” Jaemin sulks as they arrive at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to come, and Jaemin adds for a good measure, “shut up.”

 

“Yes, you are!” Minhyung sing-songs loudly, attracting annoyed looks from the other patrons at the bus stop, “you’re jealous because you don’t want Donghyuck to be my best friend!”

 

“I hope you know how ridiculous you sound right now,” Jaemin replies instead, leaning on the poll, his arms over each other, casting Minhyung a judgemental look that Minhyung giggles at, and Jaemin looks away, pretending to search for their bus.

 

“Don’t worry, Nana,” Minhyung answers, his giggles finally coming to a stop, “You know you’re my best friend, right?”

 

“It doesn’t sound like I am earlier.”

 

“Well, you are!” Minhyung shuffles closer to Jaemin, almost leaning his weight on Jaemin’s body as Jaemin leans his weight on the poll. Their knees touch. Minhyung is close. So close. He whispers, “I thought we’ve established that few years back. I was only saying that to make you stop glaring at Donghyuck. Plus, Donghyuck was just teasing you. He has his own set of friends, Nana.”

 

He’s so close. He’s so close, and Jaemin wants to believe him. He does. They’re only best friends. Yet, why does that title feel so important?

 

-

 

The thing is, Jaemin doesn’t really like Jaehyun that way. He knows him from Minhyung, one of Minhyung’s teammate a year above them. Jaemin is seventeen now (Minhyung eighteen), both in second year of high school. He’s more like an acquaintance than a friend. More like someone Jaemin sort of knows, but doesn’t. The kind of person that you know, but you’re not sure if you should greet them if you ever bump into them. That kind of friend. It comes as a surprise when Jaehyun approaches him and Minhyung while Minhyung drinks his water, and Jaemin looks at him drink. Jaemin just finished his journalism club meeting, coming to the gym in time for both of them to go home together.

 

Jaehyun (should Jaemin call him hyung? He’s the same age as Minhyung, right? Not everyone is as lenient as Minhyung is with age) is looking at Jaemin, and only Jaemin, and that’s sort of nice. Jaemin can see the clear determination in his eyes as he asks the question, _will you go out with me._ Jaemin stays rooted next to Minhyung, and Jaemin can hear the choking sound of water and a choked _what_ from Minhyung next to him, and the cheers of Minhyung’s other’s teammates.

 

“M-m-me?” Jaemin stutters, looking at Jaehyun in confusion. Because honestly, what? Jaehyun is sort of a big deal. He’s good looking, the kind of good looking that will definitely turn a few heads as he walks by. He’s popular. Being the ace and able to go through three-persons-block are obviously darn amazing. Being good looking is just a huge bonus. And he wants to go out with Jaemin? Jaemin who is currently smelly in his school uniform, a year below him, and not to mention, doesn’t know any shits about volleyball. This Jaemin? Is he for real?

 

“Yes, you!” Jaehyung replies lightly, laughing at him adoringly, and his dimples are showing and Jaemin sort of feels weak, before he feels the overwhelming presence in the form of Minhyung next to him.

 

“I didn’t know you like Jaemin,” Minhyung roughly chokes out, and Jaehyun turns his eyes that have been looking at Jaemin all along to face Minhyung, still with that bright smile.

 

“Well, it’s not really something to flaunt,” Jaehyun mumbles demurely, scratching his sweaty head. The whole gym is sort of really sweaty right now. They’re all still in their practice attire, a tattered t-shirt and shorts. It’s a wonder how Jaemin thinks that they all still look good.

 

“Oh,” Minhyung answers, his voice deeper than it is, looking so confused Jaemin is sort of pitying him.

  
“Do I need the best friend’s permission for Jaemin to go out with me?” Jaehyun asks lightly, but Jaemin thinks that he might even ask for Minhyung’s permission if that’s what Minhyung wants him to do.

 

“No, no, I just,” Minhyung glances at Jaemin, and Jaemin looks at him in confusion, feeling his cheeks heating up in the sheer ridiculousness of all of this, “Nana can make his own choices.”

 

That nickname. A silent plead.

 

“Well,” Jaemin starts, and Jaehyun looks at him again as if hearts are shooting out of his eyes right now, eyes so hopeful and bright. “I guess I can go out with you…..hyung.”

 

“Great! I’ll pick you up on Saturday! Here, give me your phone number!” Jaehyun quickly whips out his phone from his back pocket, opening the add new contact option and Jaemin quickly inserts his number, still feeling Minhyung’s eyes on his every move. “I’ll text you.”

 

Jaehyun does text him. Once, twice, thrice, to eventually uncountable. They’re home now on their regular Friday movie night at Minhyung’s house when Jaemin’s phone pings yet again. Minhyung has been looking at the device in disdain every time Jaemin checks his phone to reply to Jaehyun’s new texts that seem to bombard Jaemin’s phone every five seconds.

  
“Stop checking your phone!” Minhyung eventually exclaims, at their second Harry Potter movie, clearly agitated and annoyed. He looks ridiculous, getting angry at Jaemin with his big hoodie and Mickey Mouse sweatpants. “I thought we agree that on movie nights we should turn our phones off!”

 

“No, we didn’t. You literally made that up five seconds ago and checked your own phone ten minutes ago,” Jaemin points out, still typing something back to Jaehyun on his phone before Minhyung snatches the phone from his hands, quickly turning it off as Jaemin exclaims in shock and wrestles it from Minhyung’s grip. Minhyung quickly shoves it in his pants, giving Jaemin a look of satisfaction as Jaemin’s expression morphs into one of disgust.

 

“You’re so fucking disgusting, the hell Minhyung?” Jaemin exclaims, dropping his head back on the couch in defeat, “now, it’s going to smell like your sweaty balls! Jaehyun-hyung will think that I’m ignoring him!”  


“Good, let him be! So, you can start actually watching this damned movie!” Minhyung argues back, shooting his fingers at Jaemin agitatedly before he goes on, “you even call him hyung! You never call me hyung!”

 

This boy, really.

 

“I though you like Jaehyun-hyung! Just some days ago, you were gushing about his spiking skills!” Jaemin replies, choosing to ignore Minhyung’s comment about never calling him hyung.

 

“Well, that’s different,” Minhyung sputters, his thighs against Jaemin are warm and Jaemin feels even warmer inside.

 

“Is this jealousy I smell?” Jaemin teases, turning his body to face Minhyung who is suddenly very much focused on the movie. Jaemin moves to place his knee on the sides of Minhyung’s legs, trapping and straddling him, blocking the movie so that Minhyung only sees Jaemin. Minhyung looks at Jaemin helplessly, a small pout on his lips.

 

“Yes,” Minhyung mumbles softly. Oh. “what if you actually like Jaehyun? The people who have asked you out are all younger or the same age as you! And you only say yes to them to be nice. Your crushes are always people older than you! Like Sicheng-hyung. What if you decide that Jaehyun is much better than me and decided to leave me? What will I do?”

 

Jaemin clears his throat, getting even more comfortable between Minhyung’s legs, propping his legs behind Minhyung and sitting in between Minhyung’s thighs. Minhyung have shifted through his little speech and now Jaemin is practically on Minhyung’s lap. “First of all, yes, true, I only like older people. Second of all, you’re older than me. I. Like. You. You will always be my best friend. When will it get through that thick skull of yours that I won’t ever leave you?”

 

Minhyung is still looking at Jaemin with his wide doe eyes and oh my god, Jaemin is so weak. _Oh._ This is it. The whole years he has known Minhyung with the butterflies in his tummy seems to make much more sense now. Of course. How can Jaemin be so blind? The reason why he got jealous over Hina, the reason why he got jealous over Donghyuck, the reason he even agreed to go on a date with Jaehyun. It’s all related to Minhyung. He likes Minhyung. A lot. He likes Minhyung so much, it suffocates him. He likes Minhyung non-platonically. Jaemin stares at Minhyung, as he stares back at him, the realisation washing over him like waves, he feels like shivering. Jaemin thinks that now would be the perfect time to just lean in and lock their lips, Jaemin is in Minhyung’s lap for fuck’s sake. But Minhyung looks away.

 

“Promise?”

 

Oh, Lee Minhyung.

 

“Of course,” Jaemin replies softly, and he hugs Minhyung, snaking his arms around Minhyung’s waist, resting his head on the nook of Minhyung’s bony shoulder. Jaemin stays on Minhyung’s lap all night, all the way to the third movie, fourth movie, and all the way to the eighth. They woke up with sore backs, and Minhyung with sore thighs, but it’s okay. They have each other.

 

(Jaemin does go on that date with Jaehyun, much to Minhyung’s dismay. But as Jaehyun drops him off that night and Jaemin tells him that they should just be friends, Jaehyun just shrugs with a small sad smile on his face and an _I figured_ on his lips. They both know what Jaehyun figured, but neither say it out loud. Jaemin plants a kiss on Jaehyun’s lips for one last time, and they stayed kissing in front of the driveway of Jaemin’s house for quite a long time. Or as Minhyung tells him the day narrates the day after.)

 

-

 

The thing is, Jaemin knows how touchy-feely they are with each other. He knows, and ever since he had his awakening, he cherishes the little (pinky-holding) to big (ranging from hugging to massaging each other to cuddling) touches with Minhyung all the same. He and Minhyung sort of know. Sort of. Like a silent acknowledgement that they like touching each other, but they never say it out loud. So, it’s sort of weird when someone calls them out for it.

 

“Wow, you guys are really all over each other. Are you guys really not dating?” Renjun asks, looking at the two in genuine curiosity. Jaemin and Minhyung turn to look at each other before they both look at Renjun. What.

 

They’re seniors now. Last year of high school before college, with the reminder of college entrance exams looming over their heads every day. It’s lunch time and after a long day of calculations, essay, classwork and practical, everyone is sort of starving to the core. Jaemin and Minhyung are currently sitting at the cafeteria’s bench, with their lunches on the table, making small talks. Jaemin has somehow moved from sitting properly to crossing his leg on the bench to eventually, leaning his head on Minhyung’s shoulder, and Minhyung rests his head on Jaemin’s head. They probably look ridiculous. But it’s so normal of them to do that so it’s confusing why Renjun is asking that now.

 

“What do you mean?” Minhyung asks, and Jaemin can only give Renjun a nod to answer the question. It’s barely half the day, and Jaemin is already this exhausted. Looking back, it is probably because he stubbornly did the maths worksheets until 2 a.m yesterday just to satisfy himself. He’s ridiculous.

 

“I mean,” Renjun makes some weird hand gestures to explain himself which makes the two even more confused. Minhyung only feeds himself more rice as he patiently waits for an explanation, and when he sees that Jaemin isn’t eating his lunch, he gives Jaemin a spoonful of his own rice. “see, you’re just proving my point!”

 

“What?” Jaemin asks now, munching on the food Minhyung just fed him because honestly, what? They’re always like this. They even held hands once in front of the whole class, their body close to each other, Minhyung’s arm over Jaemin’s shoulders and Jaemin’s hands intertwined with his when their teacher was demonstrating a chemical reaction. How is this so different than their other touches?

 

“I mean! You guys have always been really broad with the skinship! How is it possible that you’re not dating each other?” Renjun asks, his wild hand gestures increasing by tenfold at their identical confusion. They’re still looking at Renjun with their mouth slightly hanging as they chew. Huh. Jaemin wonders why too.

 

“That’d be stupid! Jaemin is like my brother!”

 

Jaemin goes stiff. Ouch. That’s why.

 

Because after all this time, Minhyung still continues to think of their friendship as something nothing more than the platonic line. It sort of hurts after the awakening. After Minhyung’s obvious jealousy, Jaemin even allows himself to think that Minhyung may have a chance of liking him back. It’s ridiculous for him to think that way.

 

“Yeah,” Jaemin replies, moving to sit up properly on the bench, earning him a look of confusion from Minhyung, he obviously doesn’t want Jaemin to stop leaning on him. Look at that face of his, so innocent and ridiculous. So, so, so ridiculous. “Minhyungie is like a brother. We would never date.”

 

Ouch. This is reality. This is them. Platonic.

 

The second time someone sort of asks them if they were dating is that evening. Jaemin and Minhyung camp out at Minhyung’s bedroom, with their exercises, homework, and notes sprawled on the floor, going over the materials together. Senior year is so tiring. He should’ve trusted Jaehyun when he said that senior year is truly hellish. He has no idea how Minhyung can juggle passing grades and volleyball at the same time when Jaemin is already dying from just studying his ass off every single day.

 

“Can I take a nap for twenty minutes? My back is sort of sore,” Jaemin asks suddenly as Minhyung and him are finishing up on the Physics worksheets in front of them. Jaemin buries his face in the carpet on Minhyung’s floor, succumbing to the soft material tickling his face. He doesn’t even know when Minhyung last cleaned this carpet. He just doesn’t care. Minhyung shoots him a reassuring smile, and Jaemin climbs to Minhyung’s bed with the last reminder of waking him up.

 

Jaemin should wake up twenty minutes later, or thirty minutes later since Minhyung usually lies to him to let him get more sleep since Minhyung knows that Jaemin has been beating himself up for all these exams. Except, when he wakes up, it is to a quick click of a phone, a flash of light, and a body next to his, the arms of the person on Jaemin’s waist, and the person is softly breathing down his neck. A warm body that Jaemin knows every nook and canny of since he has been looking at it for his entire fifteen years of knowing Minhyung. Jaemin sits up properly on the bed, careful to not wake Minhyung up, only to see Minhyung’s mother trying to tidy up their papers on the floor.

 

“Oh, aunty! It’s okay, just leave it. Minhyung and I will clean it up later,” Jaemin says softly, his voice raspy and deep from sleep, careful to not disturb Minhyung’s sleep. He rubs his eyes as he looks around the room, and Jaemin guesses by the darkness of the curtains that it is probably around one or two in the morning. He slept for almost two hours. Dang it. That’s two hours of studying time gone.

 

“It’s okay, Jaeminnie,” Minhyung’s mother says softly, a soft smile adorning her Minhyung-like features. She reminds Jaemin so much of Minhyung, it’s crazy. “go back to sleep, Jaemin-ah. Studying can wait a little if you’re really tired. I know you two are tired.”

 

Jaemin shoots her a grateful smile, and is just about to lay down again back on the bed with Minhyung’s warm and comfy body after muttering good night, only for him to be stopped by Minhyung’s mother onslaught of questions.

 

“You know you two can tell me anything, right? I would love you two all the same. I already consider you as a son, Jaeminnie,” Minhyung’s mother says softly, and Jaemin can only stare at the retreating form of Minhyung’s mother back as she closes the door softly with a small good night. Jaemin lies back on the bed, cuddling up to Minhyung, and Minhyung tightens the hold he has on Jaemin’s waist and returns to his original position of head on Jaemin’s bony shoulders.

 

Huh.

 

-

 

The thing is, Minhyung is a talented ass setter and Jaemin is not even being biased because he has feelings for Minhyung, and Minhyung is his best friend. The awards he got from the award ceremonies held by school and competitions are prove of Jaemin’s broad statement. Hell, there’s even a medium-sized cabinet in Minhyung’s room where he puts all of his trophies, medals and certificates. A solid proof that Minhyung is in fact a very talented setter.

 

That’s the thing. Minhyung is so talented at volleyball that he even got a few sports scholarship from quite a few schools, which Minhyung insists on not telling Jaemin the names of yet because he wants Jaemin to get his university acceptance letters first. Jaemin almost feels like socking Minyung on the face but he resists when Minhyung begs for him to get his first before Minhyung can decide. His university acceptance letters come on early morning. Jaemin has lost tracks of day ever since college entrance exam ended. Jaemin is already very much awake, has been ever since universities start sending their acceptance letters that week.

 

Jaemin spots the universities he applied to all together after the postman dropped it in their mailbox, and Jaemin immediately runs off to Minhyung’s house next door, knocking just to be polite, kissing Minhyung’s mother on the cheeks as she is on her way out to work. Jaemin tells her excitedly that his universities application letters come through, and he is going to tell Minhyung, to which she squeals in delight at, telling him quickly that Minhyung is in his room upstairs. She doesn’t have to tell. Jaemin already knows.

 

“I got the letters. All three of them,” Jaemin says breathlessly as soon as he barges into Minhyung’s room.

 

“What?” Minhyung asks blearily, sitting up on his bed as he takes a look at Jaemin, already freshly showered and groomed in jeans and some t-shirt he picked out in his closet. It’s probably Minhyung’s.

 

“The letters!” Jaemin screams again. This time, he drops his weight on Minhyung’s bed, and Minhyung moves a little to make space for him, and they huddle over all three letters.

 

“Which one do we open first?” Minhyung asks, his voice raspy from sleep, and Jaemin’s insides swirl a little. At least Minhyung looks awake and equally as excited. He doesn’t wait for Jaemin’s reply as he goes on, “Didn’t you want to go to Yonsei the most? Let’s leave that for the last. Let’s open the other two first.”

 

Jaemin tears open the two letters and cries at each one when he sees that he got accepted in both of his second and third options. When it’s time to open the Yonsei University one, Jaemin shakily tears off the top before he stops. “You open it,” Jaemin suddenly says, giving Minhyung the letter, and Minhyung shoots him a look of confusion. “I want you to open it, okay?”

 

Minhyung opens it without further questions and tries to not show any expression in his face. Jaemin closes his eyes, because he knows Minhyung sucks ass at acting and will probably give away what the letter says the moment he reads it.

 

“Na Jaemin, we are pleased to inform you that you have been selected for admission for the Fall 2019 admission. Your academic profile confirms your commitment to personal and educational growth. Bla, bla. Nana, you got accepted!” Minhyung shrieks excitedly, tackling Jaemin to his bed, excitedly shrieking in his ears, and Jaemin can’t stop the giggles flowing from inside him. He got accepted into his dream university. Jaemin hugs Minhyung back and allows himself to enjoy the warmth of Minhyung’s body.

 

“What university will you be going to?” Jaemin asks after the excitement settles in, only hanging in the air in a comfortable and blissful hum, Minhyung still on top of him, comfortably resting his body, his head resting in the nook of Jaemin’s shoulder as he always is. Jaemin’s groin is sort of squished by Minhyung’s abdomen and it’s sort of weird because Minhyung is taller than him and his legs are currently below Jaemin’s. But they’re always like this it’s almost becoming a habit.

 

“Me? Yonsei.”

 

“What?” Jaemin looks down at Minhyung who is sniffing him like a dog.

 

“Yeah?” Minhyung asks, he looks up at Jaemin from his little sniffing fest, “you’re going to Yonsei, right?”

 

“Yeah?” Jaemin replies, confused. So Minhyung got offered a position in Yonsei, too?

 

“So, it’s settled, then. I’m going to Yonsei, too,” Minhyung replies easily like he isn’t about to make the biggest choice of his life, and Jaemin looks at him, wide-eyed and confused. Is he crazy?

 

“I thought you go offers from ton of other unis?”

 

“Yeah,” Minhyung replies, snuggling to Jaemin again, breathing in the detergent of his shirt, “but you’re going to Yonsei, right? So I’m going to Yonsei. Plus, Yonsei is a top school. Don’t worry.”

 

 _Not in sports_ , Jaemin thinks helplessly, but he doesn’t say it out loud. There are probably other universities who offered Minhyung a place that is specifically to bloom Minhyung’s talent as a setter. How can Jaemin not worry? When Minhyung makes it sound so easy to just follow Jaemin to Yonsei. It’s almost like he wants Jaemin to guide him instead of him guiding Jaemin this time. It’s crazy, the amount of trust they have in each other. Minhyung makes it sounds so easy. Maybe it is. If Jaemin is put in the same spot, he probably would’ve chosen where Minhyung in a heartbeat. Jaemin rests his hands on Minhyung’s back, caressing it absentmindedly.

 

“We’ll get an apartment in Seoul where we would live together,” Minhyung slurs out sleepily in Jaemin’s neck.

 

“That’s the plan, isn’t it?” Jaemin replies, chuckling breathily. He’s sort of going sleepy too. A person can only have so much excitement at eight in the morning.

 

“Mhm, not getting rid of me that easily, Nana-ya,” Minhyung replies, and suddenly there’s a soft press of lips on his neck and Jaemin stiffens. “I’m really happy.”

Jaemin doesn’t say it, but Minhyung doesn’t have to hear it because he knows, and doesn’t even wait for a reply as he falls asleep immediately after saying that.

 

“Me too,” Jaemin whispers before he falls asleep.

 

_Me too, me too._

-

 

The thing is, Jaemin is not at fault. Or maybe he is. Or maybe he’s not. But the point here is, life would be easier if Minhyung just tell him what he did wrong instead of being an ass he usually isn’t and ignores him for more than twenty-four hours. Jaemin can feel his resolves crumbling as he searches for the contact name that he thinks he would never ever call, but saves because just in case. Jaemin is sort of glad for his past initiatives.

 

“Hello, Nana Jaeminnie. What do I owe the pleasure of this call?” the voice sing-songs in its’ annoying high-pitched tone. Jaemin. Hates. Him.

 

“Look, where’s Minhyung? He hasn’t been home since yesterday and I can’t get a hold of him,” Jaemin replies hurriedly not even bothering to correct the nickname use. It’s useless to argue with a rock.

 

“You’re calling me just for Mark-hyung? How mean. Here I thought that we are going to bond!” Donghyuck tut-tuts and Jaemin is _this_ close to march over to Donghyuck and Jeno’s shared dorm to just punch his fucking face because he is sucking up so much patience in him.

 

“Answer me, Hyuck!” Jaemin exclaims agitatedly, and Jaemin hears some rustle in the background and the sound of Jeno scolding Donghyuck. Donghyuck and Jeno are dating and they attend the same university as Minhyung and Jaemin. One day, Minhyung just decided to drag Jaemin to a bar, and there he was introduced to Jeno who was with Donghyuck. Apparently, Minhyung was the one who introduced the two lovebirds to each other and they have been inseparable since then, only getting together recently since the first term starts. Jaemin has taken quite a liking towards Jeno after discovering that they share the same courses.

 

“Stop teasing him, babe,” Jaemin hears Jeno says, and Jaemin agrees; s _top, what did he do to deserve this treatment from the people around him?_ Jaemin hears Donghyuck’s irritated sigh, and a soft smooch that Jaemin hopes is not what he thinks it is. It probably is. But he doesn’t need to know. Or see. Nope.

 

“Mark-hyung is with us. He’s feeling a little bit under the weather, Jaemin-ah,” Donghyuck replies.

 

“But why?” Jaemin asks helplessly, he has to even stop himself from stomping his feet on the floor of their shared apartment. “Why won’t he come home?”

 

“He’ll come home soon,” Donghyuck answers, and Jaemin can imagine him rolling his eyes at Jaemin’s antics. “Anyway, I have to go. I have shit tons of assignments to do, Jaemin-ah. Why are the professors here so cruel? Do you have any idea how hard training is these days? And we’re still on the second line-up despite all the trainings….”

 

 _He’ll come home soon_ turns out to be a few hours later after his phone call with Donghyuck. Jaemin was just on his laptop at the living room, their TV playing some drama re-run from last week, and Jaemin half-heartedly watches as his heart wrenches for Minhyung. _Where is he, where is he, where is he?_ The sounds of someone punching in the code for their lock rings through the whole apartment and Jaemin quickly gets up from the couch to the door, ready to scold Minhyung.

 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry for making you worry, Nana,” Minhyung hurriedly says as a greeting, flinching and covering his body with his hands in defence. “I just want a breather.”

 

Jaemin feels like his lungs give out. A breather? Is Jaemin really that unbearable that Minhyung feels suffocated to be with him? Is he that clingy these days? There are some days where Jaemin likes to sneak in to Minhyung’s bed and cuddle together because he misses home and his parents. He thought it was okay. Because Minhyung does it too. Isn’t it hypocritical of Minhyung to say it when he does it himself? Minhyung must’ve seen that look on Jaemin’s face because he suddenly raises up his hands, denying the statement.

 

“No, no, I don’t mean it like that!” Minhyung says hopelessly, and Jaemin sees the prominent dark circles under his eyes.

 

“You could just say that you can’t stand me anymore. You don’t have to beat around the fucking bush,” Jaemin says harshly, and he turns on his heels, and walks to his room, taking his laptop quickly, but Minhyung catches up to him in no time like he always does, taking Jaemin’s tiny wrist in his fingers, tightening his hold on it when Jaemin tries to yank away.

 

“I love you.”

 

What?

 

“Jaemin, I love you so much it’s crazy.”

 

Double what? Is this some sort of a sick joke from Donghyuck? If it is, it isn’t funny at the slightest.

 

“What?”

 

“I said it, okay! I just realise how much I love you. I know it took me a while. I just suddenly thought that wow, I really love you, and I have been. For a very long time, but I just realise it now. I just suddenly can’t handle you being so close to me because it makes me feel so much more, and you probably don’t love me that way and I-“

 

“You’re stupid,” Jaemin blurts out, looking at the rambling Minhyung dead on the face, and Minhyung’s face heats up and he tries to argue, but Jaemin holds his fingers up. “You’re stupid because I’ve been waiting for so long. Do you know how much it breaks my heart every time you literally just refer to me as your brother? Do you realise that? And now you’re telling me that you’ve gone through a lot these past few days when I’ve gone through much worse this past few years? Nuh uh, come here.”  


Minhyung hesitantly steps closer. Jaemin gestures at Minhyung to step even closer. They’re so close now, their noses are touching. How will they kiss? Do they both have long nose bridge? Jaemin hears often that it’s hard to kiss when your partner’s nose bridge is long. Will it be awkward? Or will it feel like home? Will it feel as if all the locks in the world are openen when they kiss, and the key to home is there. There, Minhyung. Minhyung leans in and locks their lips.

 

Ah, home, indeed. Home.

 

“I love you too.”

 

“Thank you for waiting.”

 

-

 

People who have known them since their adolescent years ask. How is _it_?

 

Well, to get it started, the best way to describe it is home. Home. The next day after the confession, and a good use of bed, Jaemin almost expects Minhyung to act like nothing happened, like they’re still friends. But Jaemin wakes up, and there’s Minhyung looking at him, his eyes are looking at him adoringly, you would expect him be reciting love poems next. Except he doesn’t. He leans in closer, closer to Jaemin’s lips, so Jaemin closes his eyes.

 

“You have such a bad morning breath,” Minhyung whispers. Of fucking course.

 

“Get away from me,” Jaemin mutters, opening his eyes, looking annoyed, and turning his body away from Minhyung and his distracting naked body, lifting up the blanket even more to cover up his own naked self.

 

“I’m sorry, Nana,” Minhyung says teasingly. He’s teasing him. Of course he is. Jaemin turns even closer to the wall, ignoring Minhyung to fake pout at him.

 

“Nanaaaaaaa,” Minhyung whines again, and Jaemin is pushed back into the mattress, and Jaemin has to look at Minhyung because Minhyung is currently straddling him, Minhyung’s naked self straddling Jaemin’s own naked self. “I’m sorry.” Minhyung leans in and plants a kiss on Jaemin’s lips, his forehead next, his cheeks, his everywhere, and they continue to kiss the Saturday away, ignoring their phone calls and texts from Donghyuck, Jeno, and probably Renjun. Most importantly, ignoring their assignments.

 

So, really, _it_ is really not much different from before they became a thing. They’re still them.

 

Their parents who have seen the two grown into the fine young men they are now just say proudly that, yes, they know that _it_ is going to happen.

 

Jaemin and Minhyung return home one winter break to tell them the news of them dating to both their set of parents only for them to blink their eyes at them in confusion. They were having dinner at a local restaurant, when they both suddenly announce it.

 

Minhyung’s mother: “Wait, so you mean you haven’t been dating this whole time?”

 

Jaemin’s father: “Were we blind this whole time?”

 

Jaemin’s mother: “Wow, we’re all really going old.”

 

Minhyung’s father: “Congratulations, sons.”

 

So, really, _it_ is not really much different than before they were together too. So what exactly does make _it_ so special?

 

If you ask Jaemin, he would tell you that before, he would feel guilty for enjoying the platonic touches as a romantic one. He would tell you that before, he would stare at Minhyung’s toned body in a complete shame, and now he can stare at Minhyung’s body all he wants because Minhyung is his and only he can look at Minhyung that way. Jaemin would also tell you about the kisses. Oh, the kisses. The kisses that they would share under the blankets, the one they share every morning, the one that they share on the couch on their movie nights, the one they share every time they just need each other’s presence, and just well their kisses. It’s ridiculous, how little is _it,_ but how significant it is in their relationship development.

 

If you ask Minhyung, he would laugh and proudly tell you that he can be a sap. Before their relationship, Minhyung barely gives Jaemin any compliments, considering them weird and non-platonic. But now, they’re dating. The words just seem to flow out of Minhyung like waterfall, unstopping, flowing. Jaemin eating spicy noodles with tears running down his cheeks, _beautiful_. Jaemin sleeping with his mouth hanging open, and drool escaping the corner of his lips, _how did I get so lucky?_ Minhyung would also tell you how amazing it is. The sex, the cuddling, the relationship, the _home._ Home is not the little apartment they share. It’s Jaemin brushing his teeth every morning next to him, knocking his bony elbow against Minhyung’s own. It’s their movie nights. It’s their cuddling after a bad day at school, practice, and work. It’s their date nights where they usually go see a new movie release, or just go on a dinner, and sometimes eat trashy and unhealthy take-outs. It’s Jaemin. Home is Jaemin.

 

To summarise the how is _it_ like. It’s both of them together, side by side, like they always are, but with more kissing, hugging, and activities in bed.

**Author's Note:**

> that's it folks. 
> 
> just in case some of you are confused:
> 
> 1) if you don't get it already, when minhyung moves to korea that summer, his batch passed so he has to join the 00 batch instead. this probably doesn't make sense, but i need them to be in the same class ahaha
> 
> 2) i know that for jaehyun to be their senior, he must be mark's age so jaehyun's age is LOWERED here so that he is the same age as mark! this is clearly only for the purpose of this fic. n also i just remembered after i scanned through the fic that jaehyun's real name is yoonoh. i'm a failure as a fan.
> 
> kudos and comments are appreciated :)
> 
> i'm on [twitter](https://twitter.com/nctkkum) if you wanna follow me! 
> 
> and i opened up a [curiouscat!!](https://curiouscat.me/adequater) if you wanna ask me questions hehe


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